Six years ago yesterday, I buried the love of my life. The pain and agony of grief was unimaginable. I was looking at life through a tunnel of darkness, barely able to see a dim light at the end of that tunnel. I thought it would never end, that tunnel. But, I am living proof, that, yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel of grief.
Today, I am content. I guess that's as good of a word to describe how I am feeling. I have dealt with the grief and loneliness, and have become what I think of as a stronger, more independent person. I have realized that the world doesn't stop for my broken heart and life, and that moving ahead is possible.
I have discovered that I can stand on my own and take care of myself, a home and all that goes with it. This, in no way, should minimize what kind of life I had as a married man. Ours was a marriage of joy and happiness. I miss that, and I miss my mate. But, I realize that she isn't coming back, and that life does go on.
I am grateful for all the years we had together. I will never forget them or my loving late wife. I will cherish all that went with those years. I have my children and grandchildren to sustain me as well as a vast group of friends who have been my support group. I love them all.
Bless life, caress it every day, for it could end with the snap of a finger.
Peace,
JE
5 comments:
I am very privileged to call you friend. Very beautifully written.
You have done well, JE. You are strong. I'm certain I could not survive without Denise.
You have said it all, JE, in that we should treasure those we love - spouse, family, friends - for some may be gone too soon.
I recently told my wife (part of the subject of today's post) that I will miss her sorely if she happens to be the one to go first.
I inadvertently deleted a comment from Anonymous, who had lost his/her father recently and wondered if the pain ever gets easier. I can only talk from my experience from losing my parents, then my spouse. I have to say "yes" it will get easier as the days, months, years roll by. I lost my father 45 years ago. I remember the fun stuff we did, the moral values he taught me, and the discipline he administered, lovingly I might add, but to say that I miss him; not any more. It got easier somewhere along the way. Not the same with my mom. I was very close to her, and not a day goes by that I don't miss her and think of something I would ask her if she was still her. Of course, I had her around for a much longer time than Dad.
Speaking of my wife's passing, I finally have reached the final, "acceptance" stage of grief. I don't like the fact that she's gone, but have accepted it. I miss her every moment of every day. My life is not the same, but I feel truly blessed that I got to share 38 years, 22 days and 7 hours with her. I am a better person for that.
Post a Comment