Friday, August 07, 2009

Painting "101"

Here's the real truth about my latest painting job.
First, let me state for the record that I HATE to paint! Anything! But especially walls and ceilings. I have been wanting to paint my bedroom for a number of months, but have put it off for several reasons. First, I don't like to paint without having the windows open, and the weather hasn't been fit to have them open, or if it's cool enough to have them open, I don't want to do it. I want to be outside doing other stuff. Secondly , my bedroom is small with a hell of a lot of furniture in it. What do I do with it all while I am painting. The only place to move it to is the living room which is not a good idea since it is the main room of the house and I don't have a family room. Thirdly, I am sloppy, so that means shrouding everything imaginable in plastic. Fourthly, I can't pick colors, even if I know what I want. But, all this being said, the time has come to get at it, so I go paint shopping.
I pick a light neutral gold/beigey color. I have it mixed. I get it home. Take a look at the bedroom accessories and think, "blah." Nothing too wrong, but not just right either. So, since I had it mixed and can't take it back, there's twenty five bucks shot in the ass. So I go get another color of deeper gold, letting my son talk me into getting a satin finish instead of flat. I bring it home and stir and stir and stir, and when I begin putting it on the wall, it's runny and sticky and like smearing honey on the wall. Back to the paint store.. The "paint maven" decided that the mixing base was probably bad, so I could probably get a store credit, but being the hindsight-is-always-better person that I am, I didn't take the gallon with me, because the label said that because it was mixed color, it was non-returnable. So there went another twenty-five bucks. Soooo, I pick another color, flat finish, gold, bright, perfect. This time it was almost thirty bucks, no longer on sale. I began painting with it. I got two walls done, one coat and when it dried, I swear it looked like a cheap bordello (not that I have ever been in one, but my imagination can just picture some sleezy rent-by-the-hour hotel room in Tiajuana). It was so bright and just was nauseous to look at. Okay, you are getting the picture.
That evening when Prof came home, I was so discouraged that I was fuming and really p.o.'ed at my self for all the messing around with the paint. I should have left it alone, white!
Prof suggested an altogether different color scheme. Said, think about it for a few days. I mulled it over and over. I talked to my friend Curley about the color choices I had made, all bad, and asked her what she thought of Prof's suggestion. She said "go for it." So back to the paint store. This time I bought a less expensive paint in brown. It's really the color of fine, milk chocolate. It took two coats and in some places, especially the one spot with the thin runny crap, three coats. But it looks wonderful. Three walls are that color. Then, the real treat started. Prof suggested I paint the fourth wall a deep red. Yes, red. I love red, so that sounded really neat. I go back to paint store #2 (where they sell less expensive paint) and had a gallon of "red drama" mixed. I begain putting it on the fourth wall. It wouldn't cover well. I had white underneath, so I thought I didn't need to prime it. Wrong! After two coats, it still looked blotchy and had light and dark spots. Now, what? I thought "to heck with it," cleaned up the rollers and brushes, and sat down to watch TV. During a commercial, Kilz paint(which I always thought was a primer/sealer for water spots) advertised their new line of paint which covers in less coats, and has a built-in primer. Voila! Back to the paint store, and had them mix me a gallon of "red drama," rushed home and put a coat on the red wall. Golly Moses, it works! This stuff is miraculous! I put on one coat. Went to work, came home and looked it over. I thought it would look more smooth with another coat, so I donned the paint garb, one more time and had at it. It looks fantastic. I noticed a couple of spots along the ceiling that need touching up, so in the morning, I will do that, and by afternoon, I can be done. I think I couls see a career in interior decorating in Prof's future if she just could get someone to hire her. Of course, I haven't gotten her bill yet!!:)
Bear in mind that I moved all the furniture from one side of the room to the other, made a path to my bed at night, then began again in the morning. This has been going on for almost two weeks now. Now it's done! Next week I am getting new carpet put down in there. Then, as soon a Curley has time, she is making me new curtain thingys. Things finally look nice. I don't know why I just didn't let Prof and Curley pick the colors in the first place. I love it when a plan finally comes together. Did I mention I HATE to paint???? Thank the gods for Prozac!