Wednesday, April 30, 2014

On The (Right) Track

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. It was time to get back on the walking track.  (See entry of March 31!)  I got up early, even if it was 01:25 AM when I went to bed.  I got dressed and went to the "Y" and walked my mile on the track.  I will have to work into the "work out" equipment again, but I did walk.  I think it's the first time since winter set in after the New Year that I have been there.  I am so out of shape, once again (unless "round" is a shape.)
I am tired, and my joints feel the stress, but I have to admit I do feel better.  Maybe it's because I actually accomplished something besides sitting in my chair and drinking coffee!  (I did stop at the local coffee shoppe on my way home...and the library.)


Saturday, April 26, 2014

Birthday Blog

Yesterday, my late wife would have been 66 yrs old.  She would not have handled it well.  She so dreaded growing old. 
I have learned that life goes on .  Oh, I wish that she was still here, yes.  But not in the body she had.  She was not well, not happy, not satisfied with the lot that life had dealt her. 
I woke up yesterday thinking about her as I often do.  I decided to honor her birthday by reading some of her favorite passages in my Bible.  I have to admit that I am no Bible scholar, and don't often open it.  Shame on me.  But I wanted to do something different that visiting her grave and putting more flowers on it.  So, I thought this might be a good thing.  I opened the Bible to the 23rd Psalm and what should be stuck in that same page but the little folder that I got from the funeral home.  I don't remember putting it the, but there it was!  I wonder if she was trying to tell me something from the Great Beyond! 
I had a brief conversation with her, one sided, I might add.  I mentioned to her that if she had taken a bit better care of herself in life, maybe she would be her to celebrate number 66 with me.  Then I felt a little guilty for feeling that way.  But it's true!
So, I went on with my day, pausing once in a while to remember the many good time, and some no so good times that we had.
My daughter called me last night and said that she was missing her mom.  More that she had in the almost 7 years since she passed away.  I didn't know exactly what to say, but I just listened.  I can see that she is still grieving, maybe more that I.  We all grieve in our own way, in our own time. 
The memories do still live on.  Especially the good ones.  Who cares anymore about the bad ones.  They are insignificant.
So, Happy Birthday, once again, Tilly.
We Miss You,

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

More Old Age Maladies

I have oft times said that this growing older is not for sissies.  I firmly believe that our golden years are called that, not because they are so golden and wonderful, but because it costs our weight in gold just to survive!  Last week I visited my family doc because of a problem I was having.  He was unsure about said problem, and said that in all his years of practice he hadn't encountered anything quite like it.  So he sent me to a specialist. That specialist, whom I was lucky enough to catch with a cancellation the very next day, checked me out and deemed that my problem was minor and prescribed a 10-day run of antibiotics.  Problem #1 is much better and healing.  Yesterday morning I woke up with a horrible tooth ache in one of my lower front teeth.  So, I called my dentist, who could see me this morning.  So took ample Tylenol yesterday to get by and this morning bright and early went to the dentist.  I found out that a tooth in front lower was infected down below the tooth into the gum line.  I asked Doc what my options were.  He said that I was out of options on that tooth as most of it was filling and there was nothing to fix, and it needed to come out.  So I had him pull it right then.  I already wear a partial plate on the top, so now without it, I will look like a jack-o-lantern.  I have to decide by next month how or if I want to fill in the gap.  One choice is an implant which is over $3000, and bridge which is slightly under $2000, or another type of bridge which may or may not last several years for just under $500.  Wow!  I certainly need to do something.  I noticed already that I "hiss" when I talk.  So, not only is the body beginning to fall apart, this surviving old aging is getting damn expensive.  (I do have some insurance coverage for the extraction but not to fill in the gap, but it only pays 80% of "reasonable and customary charges, yeah right!)

Peace (and quiet; my mouth is sore),

Friday, April 04, 2014

A Tough Decision

I had a quick doc's appointment this morning.  I started some new meds last month for an internal neuropathic tremor, and Doc M wanted to do a followup today. (Some success, but not there quite yet!)
When I signed in, the receptionist asked me if I was interested in a "living will."  I asked her to explain just what that involved.  It meant "no heroic life saving measures in a terminal situation."  If there is a chance for survival, everything that can be done would be done, but if, say in the case of a car accident, or a massive heart attack, etc, I was not going to make it, then, in other words, "let me go."
Since I had to make that kind of decision for my wife, who had no living will, and for my mom, who had no living will, but had expressed that she didn't want "heroic measures," I signed on the "dotted line" this morning.  This is too hard of a decision for a spouse or children to have to make.  Emotions are scrambled, and it's hard to think straight.  So, now the decision is made.  There will be no guilt or regrets for them to have to deal with. 
Now, I don't intend to use this for many moons, but it is now in place when the time comes!

Peace, (of mind)

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

The Book

   Last week while Bro and Sis-in-law were visiting, we began talking about family as one is wont to do as we age.  I mean our ancestors.We talked about late grandparents and uncles that we remembered fondly.  I dug out Mom's old record of our ancestors, which we always called "the book."  It is a meticulously kept record of my mother's mother's family, the Dilts clan.  Opening it to the first page, we were confronted with Henry Dilts who married Anna Diels.  There were no dates here, but a list of their 8 children, the youngest being Jacob Dilts.  His name was ** with a note that said, "our line of descent."
Turning the page, I found that Jacob married Sarah Heath in 1782 and they had 9 children.  And thus the story began. (With their son, Asher.)
   We followed the line of descent to our grandmother, Sarah Martha Dilts, who was born in 1880 and died in 1961.  Bro and I remember her well.  A small, quiet lady who tended her kitchen and hens, and never said too much.
   Mom had kept "the book" up to date until her death in 1993.  I had entered my eldest grandson's name in there some time ago, but that was as far as it went.
   So, Bro and I updated it adding pages for my children and his, and listing all of our grandchildren.  There are a lot of updates that need to be made, but I am not sure who to contact anymore about births, deaths, marriages and etc. 
   Little is known about my mom's dad, James Elmer Burdge, but we do know that his parents were William Burdge and Eliza Jane (Ware) Burdge.  Born in 1874, Grandpa grew up in Indiana and  worked on the Dilts farm, near Lafayette, Indiana, as a hired hand, where he met, courted, and married my grandmother in 1902.
   It's fun to look how names were passed down, too.  My grandmother was named Sarah Martha, probably after Jacob's wife, and  Martha Jane was passed on to my mother.My grandfather was James Elmer, his son was Harry James.  Harry had a son named James Ross, and my mother named me James, and I named my own son James.  His son is Riley James, and the "beat" goes on!
   Such an interesting thing this family history, and it's all there thanks to Mom and "the book."
(Oh, I have a complete history of my dad's side of the family, too, but that's blog fodder for another time.)