Saturday, April 26, 2014

Birthday Blog

Yesterday, my late wife would have been 66 yrs old.  She would not have handled it well.  She so dreaded growing old. 
I have learned that life goes on .  Oh, I wish that she was still here, yes.  But not in the body she had.  She was not well, not happy, not satisfied with the lot that life had dealt her. 
I woke up yesterday thinking about her as I often do.  I decided to honor her birthday by reading some of her favorite passages in my Bible.  I have to admit that I am no Bible scholar, and don't often open it.  Shame on me.  But I wanted to do something different that visiting her grave and putting more flowers on it.  So, I thought this might be a good thing.  I opened the Bible to the 23rd Psalm and what should be stuck in that same page but the little folder that I got from the funeral home.  I don't remember putting it the, but there it was!  I wonder if she was trying to tell me something from the Great Beyond! 
I had a brief conversation with her, one sided, I might add.  I mentioned to her that if she had taken a bit better care of herself in life, maybe she would be her to celebrate number 66 with me.  Then I felt a little guilty for feeling that way.  But it's true!
So, I went on with my day, pausing once in a while to remember the many good time, and some no so good times that we had.
My daughter called me last night and said that she was missing her mom.  More that she had in the almost 7 years since she passed away.  I didn't know exactly what to say, but I just listened.  I can see that she is still grieving, maybe more that I.  We all grieve in our own way, in our own time. 
The memories do still live on.  Especially the good ones.  Who cares anymore about the bad ones.  They are insignificant.
So, Happy Birthday, once again, Tilly.
We Miss You,


Beatrice P. Boyd said...

A bittersweet memory, Jimmie, but a very heartfelt one. Your much loved Tilly is obviously, at least to this reader, still very much with you in heart and memory.

Curley said...

Beautifully written. I do believe you are doing very well with learning to like your own "company".

Anvilcloud said...

Well, that got me a little teary-eyed. You seem to have a good grip on your memories and on life in general.