Randon Thought for Today

My brother, who is the coolest guy ever, sent me this via e mail today and I had to share it!

• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than make 5 trips to bring my groceries in.
  
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
  
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent one dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
  
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
  
• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
  
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  
• I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
  Bad decisions make really good stories
  
• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
  
• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  
• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
  
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
  
• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
  
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  
• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.