Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Big Bee Hunter Goes Wild

We have had a mouse. I have tried the conventional "slammer" mouse traps, baited with such delicacies as peanut butter, cheeses, and even a pre chewed juji-bead. with absolutely no results. The little "el raton" steals my bait and runs. Tilly bought a new type of trap that looks like a giant binder clip. You open it and it locks, you place bait on a little tab, and when the little bugger grabs for the bait, WHAM! Well, the other night about 1:30 the dog went wild, and Tilly woke me up and said that she was sure that I had finally caught the nasty little bait stealer. I got up and went to check. Sure enough, there the little f--ker was. Yeah Me! It was raining cats and dogs out, and I was in my tighty-whities, so I didn't relish dumping the mouse out in the trash bin. I didn't want it in the house all night worrying the pooch, so I decided to give it "burial at sea." So with a great flourish and much fan fare, I flipped the flush handle on the commode, and dropped the mouse into the bowl. WTF!!! the little gray blankety-blank started swimming. Those things can really "mouse paddle!" I let him swim and tried flushing again, same results. He wouldn't go down the drain. So, being the great white hunter that I am, I grabbed the toilet plunger from its nearby container, and plunged down on my little friend. I held it under until it drowned. Then, I decided that "what if he really isn't dead and I flush him and he crawls back up the sewer pipe and bites me on the ass!!! So I grabbed him by the tail, jammed him down in a garbage bag, emptied all the waste baskets in on top of him and set the bag out on the back porch. Next day, the city refuse company carried my little friend away and stashed him in our local land fill.
After relating this tragedy to my father-in-law, he said that usually where there is one mouse, there is supposedly 11 more. Oh holy shit!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Saga of the "Bus Bitch"

As you all know by now, I drive a transit bus for our county here in area 52. Our system is a "call and make an appointment" system, rather than having regular routes and bus stops.
I have one client who has a standing pickup time of 5:45 pm, Monday thru Thursday. We have a 5 minute wait time after the time the client schedules. The "Bus Bitch" (whom I will refer to as BB) is always late. Most nights I wait anywhere from 9 to 20 minutes on her. Which is against the rules of the transit company. Besides it always makes me late for my next scheduled pickup. But being a nice guy, and knowing that BB doesn't have any other way to get the 7 miles home, I have been breaking the rules and waiting. Well, last week, after a 20 minute wait, I decided to put a stop to her perpetual lateness. (Other drivers have complained that every morning it is the same thing: wait, wait, wait.) I told her when she came out of her place of business and was boarding my vehicle that I would not wait that long on her any more. I tried to explain that we had our rules to follow and that she was making me late for my other clients. Wow! This woman flew into a rage! She grabbed her stuff and "trounced" off the bus, all the while screaming at me about unfair I was, how screwed up our system was, how I didn't understand how hard it was to manage alone, and on and on. She threw things, and in a word, threw a real "tizzy fit." Any moment I expected her to lay down on the ground and kick her feet! This woman is 50 years old!
I, then, in my infinite wisdom, ask her if she was done cussing and raving. She looked at me with such hatred that I was wondering if she had an uzi stashed in that king-size sachel she always carries. I said that I might as well take her home, she had wasted so much time that I was already very late for my next and final client. She got into the bus, clear in the back seat, where she would have a clear shot at the back of my head if she had the uzi, and the proceeded to bawl all the way home. One the way home, I picked up my last rider of the day who wondered if I had forgotten him. I apologized to him about being late. He rode along while I took BB the rest of the way home. Upon arriving at her house, she wouldn't let me help her with her stuff, and when I asked her for her bus fare she told me it was "back on the friggin' seat," and stormed off the bus. The gentleman rider with me said after she was out of earshot, "I don't think she was too happy with you for some reason!"
Now, childlike behavior is expected from a child, but from a woman of 50? Who needs this shit! I filed a formal complaint with the company, called my manager, and then went home. As of today, our 5 minute wait time policy was reinforced at a general drivers meeting. As of today, I will wait 5 minutes, and if BB isn't on my bus at 5:50pm, I am to pull away, and not worry about how she gets home. I could gloat, and say "I won," but did I win anything. Secretly, I am pleased that now she has to follow all the rules if she wants to ride, but I also wonder just how she will get home if I don't take her. After all, I do have a heart!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The "Four" List

Another one of those lists of things you might or might not know about Jimmie Earl:

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Salesperson in a Wholesale Sporting Goods Store
2. Office Manager in a lumber yard
3. Diswasher and short order grill cook
4. Assoc Chemist in a research and development Lab

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Twister
2. Dances With Wolves
3. Murphy's Romance
4. American President

C) Four places I have lived:
1. Where I currently reside, next door to the "nightmare on Elm St."
2. Huge Victorian near a city park in Area 52
3. Small starter ranch on a tree lined Lane
4. Huge, super huge, house on a mid sized lake in Area 52

D) Four television shows I watch:
1. Criminal Minds
2. Lost
3. Jeopardy
4. Numb3rs

E) Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Intercourse, Penn (just had to list that one)
2. San Francisco (my favorite big city )
3. Ludington, Michigan (absolutely the best vacation site ever)
4. Disney Land

F) Websites I visit daily:
1. my email
2. Yahoo Weather
3. Babble from Babbler
4. Yahoo Crosswords

G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Mi Pueblo Nachos Grande Beef
2. Steak
3. My wife's cooking, specifically her fried chicken, chocolate sheet cake
4. Breyer's vanilla bean Ice Cream

H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Somewhere warm, maybe Tahiti
2. In bed
3. On the couch
4. In the country

There was one more that I refuse to answer due the fact that I might incriminate myself:
1. Jennifer O'Neill
2. Jacilyn Smith
3. Jennifer Aniston
4. Sophia Loren (even if she's scads older than I)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Fall Blogger's Block

It's fall. Here in Area 52, the leaves are rapidly turning their beautiful fall colors, the days are getting shorter, and the weather is changing. Today, we had our first sighting of snow, and it's only October 12. I wonder what Columbus felt when he landed in America if the weather was like this!!
I have also noticed that my fellow bloggers that I try to read daily or at least semi-regularly, are way behind on their blogs, as am I. Maybe no one has anything worth writing right now, or are too busy. I just think it's strange that several of us are having a hard time or less energy to write. Oh well, tomorrow is another day and maybe I will have just the inspiration to write. But for now, a good book, a quilt and a soft pillow sounds like a plan.