Some weeks go well. Some not so well. This was not a good one.
It seemed like every student that came into my room had some super-huge problem and they thought I was the only one in the nation that could solve it. They whined, nagged and generally caused me to border on a migraine. Every teacher that came into the room had some sort of piddly-ass gripe or questions that, just because I am a verteran in the building, or just look old enough to be their grandfathers, they dumped the whole load.
Not only all of this, but it's been months since I have had a decent paycheck, and I am low on almost everything in my cupboards. I have tried to exist on Raisin Bran, Cheerios, and peanut butter until I start drawing a check again from the school system. On this limited diet I thought, well, the pounds should be falling off that I gained while in Montana eating like a fiend. No go, in fact I stepped on the scales and had gained 6. Shit!
On Wednesday I recieved a bill from a dr. that I saw in February. He is on our PPO system thru my school insurance, but for some reason, they are not paying. It was a large bill, and there is no way I have the up front cash to pay it right now. So, I get on the phone to the ins. co. and try to find out what is happening. I get passed from one department to another, and the final straw was that by the time they transfered me the last time, that person had gone home, and I was late to work at my second job. The same day, I got my light bill. Everyone was wanting a piece of me! Later that evening, I had quartet practice. My quartet consists of 3 very close friends. I spilled my guts to them. I think I even said that maybe it would be easier if I just jumped off the Carroll Street Bridge. I was at a very bad place that evening.
Later that night, the phone rang. It was my friend da Hube. He was at practice earlier. He got to thinking about my plight with the Ins. Co. He is an insurance agent himself. He could sympathize. He offered to help me. So, after school on Thursday, I took all the paperwork, phone numbers, and attitude to his office. I showed him, explained who and what I had attempted, and then he took over. He called the billing co. who routed him to the insurance co. who told him that the billing co had the wrong codes on their billing, and that they were sending it to the wrong address, which was plainly stated on the back of my ins. card, which the hospital copied when I was there in Feb. In one hour, Hube had everything straightened out, the bill willl be sent to the proper offices, and payment should follow. What a good friend, and what a relief.
Friday night I was supposed to have a date. I asked this lady out, but when I did it, it just didn't feel right. She's nice, very fun, but, it just didn't seemright. Not a good thing. So, I called her and made an excuse that I couldn't go. She was not happy, but "oh well." I just am not ready. I thought I was, but I'm not. So I stayed home Friday night and watched TV and listened to music.
Saturday was a bummer of a day. It was hot. Very humid and hot. I, who am tight with the buck, have decided to not run my AC. I got up after a restless night, went out to Burger King and got breakfast, and went back home. I vegged in front of the fan/stereo all day. I missed Tilly in the worst way and found myself crying at sentimental songs and thoughts. I still think of her like she will be coming home. It's been 11 months today, and I still think she should be sitting in the living room when I come home at the end of the day. I found myself sifting thru her jewelry box and even went in and sprayed some of her perfume in the air of my bathroom. I moped around all day and honestly was more tired than if I had worked all day. Could I add any more gloom to my life? Before I went to bed, I caved in and closed up the house and started the AC. I got a good night's sleep.
Today, I got up determined to have a better day. I went to church, my quartet sang the special music. And the children told of their camp experiences. These were the young children who have experienced camp for the first time. It was a hoot to listen to them. One of them said that one thing he learned was that God is everywhere. In my week of trouble, and feeling sorry for myself, I seemed to have forgotten that. It took a child of 10 to remind me. I think this week will be better!
Peace and Hope,