Underneath

Note: This is sort of a guy type post. I seriously hope none of you gals who read my blog are offended. If talking about men’s underwear offends you, close out now!

Beneath all that we men wear, unless you are a guy who favors going “commando” (no underwear), there is the ongoing dilemma of “briefs or boxers.” Shopping for said undergarments are an ordeal.

When I was growing up, there were only two choices. Either we wore “tightie whities” from J. C. Penney’s; you know the ones that had blue and gold dashes around the waistband. Or you could choose to wear broadcloth boxers. These were brightly colored plaids, solids, or the ever popular paisley prints. They had an extra panel sewn into the seat to accommodate those whose butts were larger. Mine wasn’t! So, those panels just got wadded up, and you can just guess where that wad of fabric ended up! I would always opt for the “tightie whities.”

As an adult, I always wore the “t-w’s”; until I got married, that is. Then my wife decided I needed to try different, sexier underwear. She bought me some new-fangled briefs called boxer briefs. They were knit fabric like the old briefs, but they had legs. Weird! I didn’t like them, but because I was a nice guy and also a newlywed, I wore them and kept my mouth shut. (These were not sexy in the least.) This went on for several years. During that time, I also received briefs in many colors. There was black, red, purple, green, blue and gray. I never knew what new color would show up in my undies drawer.

There also were the low rise briefs, the bikini briefs, even string bikini briefs, which incidentally, didn’t fit well with my physique. Those darn straps cut into my sides. Fortunately, I never received any thong briefs. Those would have gone either into the Goodwill bag, or the trash, never touching my skin.

Recently, I needed new underwear, so off I went to the local underwear store. I was astounded with the choices available. There are the traditional tightie whities, and boxers. There are low rise, with and without a fly, there are knit boxers with looser legs and the infamous boxer briefs, now available in a plethora of colors besides white.. There is also the lightweight microfiber brief which has no fly, yet has a built-in pouch to cradle my “junk” and keep it well supported. The fabric choice is still mostly cotton, but I noticed that some of them contained spandex. I am not a spandex sort of guy. Cotton is my fabric of choice. There are so many choices. Thus, being the type of daring-do person that I am, I came home with 3 pair of the loose leg knit boxers. These are ideal for sleeping and wearing under my jeans. I also bought 6 pair (all in one package) of tightie whities. Why change now. It’s sort of like my son always said about ice cream after trying many flavors. “You just can’t go wrong with vanilla.”