September 24!

September 24 is not a banner day for me and mine. Three years ago today, my wife of 38 plus years passed on. I could be sentimental here, and "piss and moan" about loss and aloneness and all the other stuff but I'm not going to. Instead I am going to write about some of the good things that have come from her death.
First, my faith has grown. I am a firm believer that God has a plan for all of us. I believe that He had a bigger, better, grander plan for Tilly, one that I still don't quite understand, any maybe never will. People talk about losing their spouse, or loved one. Never for a minute have I ever felt that I lost Tilly. I know exactly where she is! And I know she is looking down in wonder at the new grandchildren, and marveling at how much Kiddo has grown. It is my faith that has made me realize all of this. And, my new grandson, RJ, looks so much like his grandmother and when he looks at me with those huge eyes, it's like he is looking into my soul. Tell me that Tilly didn't have a part in all of that!
I have always known that my family was special. But in the past 3 years, they all have grown even more special to me. They have surrounded me in their love. They have boosted me up when I am down and I feel very close to them all. When I think of all of them, the song "We Are Family" comes to mind. We are family. We share both the good and the bad and even some of the ugly! I have a saying hanging in my great room about "family is forever." That is so true. My brother and sis-in-law fit into this family thing. They are such rocks, welcoming me into their home and spoiling me with their love and attention.
Which brings me to friends. I cannot say enough about my friends. There are some very special ones like Curley. She has been my confidante, my sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, or laugh on. Then there is my quartet buddies. They are always concerned about me, and were the instigators of repairing my kitchen roof while I was gone one time. They call, and e mail and keep track of me. They are a big part of my life, along with my church friends. What a wonderful bunch of people. There are my "forever friends" from Ohio who have stuck by me through it all. I love those two.
There are those wonderful people I worked with that still either e mail me or we facebook regularly. I had a teacher tell Prof the other day that the school wasn't the same without me there. What a compliment!
I have become much more independent. I am a much better money manager. I like what and whom I have become. So, even though I am sad sometimes and feel sorry for myself once in a while, I have grown in so many ways. I told my children that for me it was time to remember the good things, the good times, and preserve the good memories, and let the rest go. This advice came from a very good friend, and I agree.
Peace,
JE